Weekend Humor isn’t meant to be taken seriously. So don’t. We’re serious.
Bob Willard was an intern at Sony Corporation of America before he was fired for being a “cheeky son of a b****”. Willard was tinkering with an RX1 when he asked no one in particular, “How can I make the best camera that no one will buy?” Seemingly dejected when no one replied, he slumped back in his chair. After a minute, he placed his hands on his keyboard and screwed around with the coding for the RX1’s sensor. Several lines of code later, the RX1’s sensor’s capacity exploded to a mind-numbing googolplex, that is 10 raised to the power of a googol. Sony America’s CEO Port Manteau said of Willard, “That cheeky son of a b****. Get him the f*** out of here.”
Willard had also been granted access Adobe Photoshop CS7, a program so complicated that IBM’s Watson said, “Screw you guys. I’m going home.” Riddled with buttons, sliders, and dials that no one will ever use ever, CS7 proved to be a sandbox for Willard. Given that the RX1 packs a Mike Tyson-sized punch in Bradley Cooper’s body, Willard sought to find a way to make it more impressive, but his problem was that none of his coworker’s liked him. He was brilliant, but he wore pocket protectors.
It turns out that the several lines of code that Willard typed on the fly spelled “bacon” in binary. The megapixel text field at the top of the coding program went from 24 to 10^googol. He forwarded the specifications to the lab techs who produced the sensor in a matter of minutes after inputting the specifications into their machines. Willard left the lab with an RX1 outfitted with a gold-plated sensor. He was quoted as saying, “Thanksh guysh, I love gold.” He had a bit of a speech thing.
At home, Willard took a photograph of his Scottish Fold kitten, which he then uploaded to the aww subreddit. That photo was then cross-posted to r/pics where it exploded. Reddit was shut down for a good minute while the internet composed itself. The most upvoted comment when reddit came back online was, “I’ve been zooming in forever.”
The massive popularity of Willard’s image came across the desk of Sony America’s CEO Port Manteau who grimaced upon hearing it was Willard. He was quoted as saying, “The intern. It’s always the f***ing intern.”
Two weeks later, the second most upvoted comment on the r/pics thread was, “I’m still zooming in.”
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