The Stuff That Only Photographers Can Say Without Getting Arrested

Photographers are non-violent people until they snap.

One of our favorite things to do for amusement and learning here on The Phoblographer is to check out Reddit to see what our fellow photographers are talking about or getting busy with. Some posts have led us to some pretty cool stuff, like this impressive composite of Hong Kong’s sunset, and a heads-up about an awesome modified Instax Wide camera that works perfectly for portraits. Others posts tend to be about amusing, “good to know” stuff, like the “Big Nose Selfie Anomaly” (yep, I just made that up). Today, however, we’re diving headfirst into the fun folds of Reddit for some good ol’ photography humor.

Actually, it can get pretty dark most of the time, hence the headline. But personally, I like how hilariously puny some threads get. My favorite? It has many variations, but in essence, it goes something like:

“Photographers are violent people. First they frame you, then they shoot you, then they hang you on the wall.”

This version is definitely more fitting of the idea in the headline:

Photo via WeKnowMemes

That’s pretty RAW, but let’s have a look at some of the best takes by our Redditors.

“Crush the blacks.” – Nitram_J

“I shoot people for a living.” – ImmaTimeLord

“How much for the body?” – Satsuga

“Looking forward to shooting your children tomorrow!” – Joshuma

“I sure over exposed with the kids.” – thaddeussmith

“You want me to headshot your kids?” – nerdgazette

“On weekends my friends and I go out into the city and shoot streets and people.” – asianfatboy

“Don’t cut at the thighs, try the knees or the waist.” – Wh0r3b1tc4

We’d like to see the thread develop further, so why don’t you add your’s to the list? Surely, you can picture something fitting, yes? Go take a shot at the prompt, “stuff only photographers can say without getting arrested.”