“I have lost count of many times I have moved, not only from home to home but away from cities and countries,” explains fine art photographer Jaqueline Vanek to The Phoblographer. “This is why photography has played an important role in my memories for years.” Jaqueline has been taking pictures since she was ten years old, aiming to collect memories and moments in the beginning and evolving as a photographer and as an artist as time passed and technology advanced.
The essential photography gear of Jaqueline Vanek
A little over half a year ago, I started working mainly with a Canon EOS R5; previously, I had been happy with a Canon EOS-1D Mark IV for many years, I still have it, and it works perfectly. My two most used lenses are a Canon Zoom Lens EF 16-35mm and a Canon Zoom Lens Ef 24-70mm. As for studio lighting, my lighting equipment is made up of Profoto material. I also use a Mac computer with a 43-inch screen and a Wacom to retouch.
Why am I a Canon user? Well, the truth is that my first more or less decent camera, when I was studying photography, was a Canon EOS 350D, I became fond of it, and I still have it; since then, all my cameras have been Canon. The answer is simple, when something works for you and gives you what you want or need, you don’t switch to another brand. That doesn’t take away from the fact that I have dream cameras in my mind like those made by Hasselblad, but unfortunately, I couldn’t afford them.
On the other hand, I also collect older analog cameras, I have quite a few, and they all work. My favorite is a Mamiya RZ67 medium format camera; sometimes, I use it for more creative work. I have a special affection for it because when I was still studying, a small patron from Japan gave it to me without knowing me beyond the internet. Simply my work at that time caught his attention, and he wanted to contribute something to my creativity and future. I have also built several pinhole cameras, with which I have also done some work, but I haven’t used them for many years.
The Phoblographer: Tell us a little bit about yourself
Jaqueline Vanek: I am Jaqueline Vanek (Austria, 1984), a Fine Art Photographer, Visual Artist & Senior Visual UI/UX Designer living in Madrid, Spain. In my personal work, I use the instruments of darkness, surrealism, and photography to talk about my deepest feelings; emotions, states of mind, mind shifts, and more. I started my photographic artist journey in 2005, after my studies in Fine Arts, Casting, and Moulding. Having experimented with many different styles and types of photography, I managed to find myself in the conceptual and fine art realm. Since the start of my journey, my photography has been exhibited in the United States, Austria, and Spain, it can also be found featured inside and on covers of a huge amount of magazines from all around the world, as well as on book covers published in Europe, United States, and Asia. Also, during the last years, I have won several prestigious awards like an Honorable Mention in the Annual International Color Awards, some Honorable Mentions in the IPA Awards, Bronze Awards in the PX3 Annual Prix de la Photographie Paris or a Silver and Bronze Award in the MIFA Awards.
My photography is heavily influenced by classical fine art and surrealism, as well as in a world of twilight, darkness, and cold, as well as in science fiction. Strength and confidence. Peace and tranquility. A great quantity of melancholy, with a bit of gloom, sadness, mystery, and fantasy. As a way to express my ideas and emotions, I use self-portraits and photomontages, in which I create disturbing, dreamy, or futuristic worlds. My photographic work is easily recognized by my use of black and white, lights, contrasts, and elements, such as the bird, which are repeated in many of my works.
The Phoblographer: Why did you get into photography?
Jaqueline Vanek: During my whole life, especially as a kid, I have lost count of how many times I have moved, not only from home but also from cities and countries. That is why, forever, photography has played an important role in my memory of these past years. I have always clung to getting photographs that narrated part of my life, even hiding those that I found scattered and half lost in corners of my parents’ house for fear that they would lose them. Today, I have a box full of photographs of my childhood that I keep as my most precious possessions; they even remind me of where I was at a certain time in my life.
When I was about ten years old, I got my first reflex camera, although I don’t remember how or what model or brand it was. I became obsessed with buying reels and taking pictures all the time. The photographs I took were disastrous, but at that time, I did not intend to take anything beautiful but only to capture moments.
Somewhat later, as a teenager, I installed my first Photoshop, the 5.0 version launched in 1998. It came with several new features, including Editable Type, Multiple Undo, and Color Management. All that had a big “wow” effect. I spent hours experimenting with images; many times, I scanned my own photographs and made collages and compositions. Little by little, I became more interested in image editing, at that time something quite limited digitally speaking, especially if we compare it with today’s media.
In summary, the need to collect memories was the beginning of everything, and it evolved as time, age, and technology went by.
The Phoblographer: What photographers are your biggest influences? How did they affect who you are and how you create?
Jaqueline Vanek: Honestly, I don’t have any specific artists or photographers who inspire me today for my current work. I like to visit at least 2 or 3 exhibitions a week, discover artists in general and see new works of all possible styles. I can’t imagine not going to see a new exhibition in a whole month. Art is an inspiration in all of its variants, even if we don’t realize it; you can always learn something, and it helps you or inspires you to create in one way or another. Being an artist is being in an eternal learning and evolution phase.
Of course, I have had artists in the past that have motivated me to create in general. When I started studying photography in 2005, my favorite artists were Joel Peter Witkin, Jan Saudek, Shana and Robert Parke Harrison, Hans Bellmer, etc. I’ve always been attracted to the unusual, the “not too accepted” by general society, the dark, and the surreal.
THE Phoblographer: How long have you been shooting? How do you feel you’ve evolved since you started?
Jaqueline Vanek: I became involved in the magical world of photography in 2005, ending three years later as a Senior Technician in Fine Arts and Artistic Photography and with an MA Degree in Digital Fashion, Portrait, and Advertising Photography.
When I think about my photographic studies, I feel proud to be able to say that I have been among the last ones that have started studying in school classrooms with photographic enlargers and chemicals, then moving to digital. I remember the smell of the developers perfectly, and I still have buckets, red light, and some other utensils from the dark room.
I have gone through different expression tools until I found the one that eases the process of creation and the one that makes me express myself the best. But, more than the tools, my own life, and my experiences, are the ones that have made me evolve as an artist. Our experiences make us who we are and therefore make us create the things we create. Good and bad experiences, trips to places around the world, the people you get to know… the feelings we experience, all of this makes us evolve. In my case, many things have marked me as I am a very sensitive person, although I appear to be tough.
The Phoblographer: Tell us about you as a photographer. What makes your work yours?
Jaqueline Vanek: In my case, I consider having a very defined style when I do personal artwork in black and white due to the use of contrast and in color due to my selection of cold tones and low saturation. Very often, I also make use of an element repeatedly, the bird; with the passage of time, it has become a very significant and representative element in my artwork.
The Phoblographer: Natural light or artificial light? Why?
Jaqueline Vanek: On a personal level, I feel more comfortable working with artificial studio lighting, as it gives me more quality assurance and general control over the whole scene, not only when working with people but especially when doing self-portraits. But I must admit that I really like the light of cloudy days that generate a melancholic and dull atmosphere or the first rays of light in the morning.
The Phoblographer: Why is photography and shooting so important to you?
Jaqueline Vanek: Photography’s major purposes are communication and the recording of fleeting moments in time. Thanks to photography, I can visualize the past, depict the present and sometimes imagine the future. Photography is an important tool for telling stories. Behind every image, there is a story able to evoke emotions. Have you ever looked at an old photo and remembered feeling the same way you did when you took it? You don’t get emotional about a picture because it’s pretty; you get emotional about the feelings it captures. It also inspires; it may help you appreciate the little things in life that could otherwise be taken for granted.
Also, photography’s relevance lies in its role as a means of self-expression. It lets you communicate your innermost thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and passions. One of the best parts is that you can do whatever you want; photography has no bounds. All of your feelings and thoughts can be communicated in any method that works for you.
For me, photography can be an art, just like painting, cinema, music, and sculpture, among others… although from my point of view, photography is often considered a despised art. It’s possible to put your own personal touch to images in the same way that painters can to paintings. In this space, you are free to play around with different color schemes, lighting setups, and contrasts. You can use the precision of science and the versatility of digital tools to compose images out of the elements of visual art. Through photography, you may show the world as YOU, the artist, see it.
The Phoblographer: Do you feel that you’re more of a creator or a documenter? Why? How does the gear help you do this?
Jaqueline Vanek: Most of the time, I am a creator. My main use of photography, speaking of personal work, is to capture my ideas, concerns, the things that torment me or that worry me. Photography is the way I have to express what I need to get out, rather than words. In many cases, when people see my work, they only perceive an aesthetic and do not realize that there are stories behind it. Only those who truly appreciate art and those of a sensitive nature realize that my images carry more than appearance. In any case, from the beginning I have always created first of all for myself, being it my “emotional outlet” tool.
The Phoblographer: Please walk us through your processing techniques?
Jaqueline Vanek: Since I started with photography, I have always tried to do my best with the means available to me. For example, I remember that when I started studying photography, I was the only one in the class who did not have a digital camera during the first year. I managed to borrow a camera available and provided by the school or lent by friends. In most cases, one does not have all the material or technical factors that are needed or that one would like to have; in those cases, creativity saves you, and you find ways to do things that shouldn’t have been possible. I think not having enough materials at the beginning has definitely helped me over the years, as it makes you think more about how to do and be able to do the things you have on your mind.
To this day, when I make a self-portrait, my way of working is as follows. I first prepare the photographic background, position the spotlights and place the tripod with the camera. I get a shower, I put on makeup, and I get dressed.
Once the background and I are ready, I connect my camera to my computer. I have my computer placed so that I can see the screen in front of myself. I leave everything set for my camera to shoot about 20-30 photographs with 15 seconds in between. Between shot and shot, the picture is shown on my screen, which allows me to correct the poses, the framing, and the light. In the end I usually end up making more than 100 photographs, just to select one or two of them all.
After the photo session, it is time to look at all the shots and select, which is usually the least fun part of all. For each selected image, I usually dedicate about 3-4 hours of photo retouching (depending on the image, sometimes it can be even much more)… touch up fluff, dust motes, in short, a very precise job.
The Phoblographer: Tell us about Exposure and Brighten, your latest works
Jaqueline Vanek: Exposure is a black and white photography self-portrait project focused on the transformation of oneself against the prejudices of the general society towards freedom of expression and to be who one really is without hiding before anything. The project begins with a naked person and ends with the same wrapped in latex, the naked reflects the facade towards society and the wrapped in latex the free expression. A bird is part of a symbol of the transition, it contributes with its wings to fly towards freedom.
We live in a society where everyone hides behind a piece of armor. We feel vulnerable and build a wall around us to not show who we really are. Sometimes, we come to a moment in our lives where we hit rock bottom, where we believe that nothing can go worse, and where we feel immensely alone and unaccepted. A moment in our life where we feel isolated and sad. We crawl every day aimlessly as if a wave was carrying us behind its back, and we don’t even realize that we move with our own feet. We wake up in the morning, follow the flow and go back to bed, repeating this one day after another. Suddenly, there comes a day in which we realize that we have already spent too much time. It is the moments in which we are at the deepest that give us the strength to make a change and take a step forward, either to drop the wall we have built between society and our most unarmed being or strengthen the foundations of that almost unsustainable fortification.
There are times when it is even harder to let go of our armor because we feel that we have become even more vulnerable beings than we already were… at the same time, those same armors become a huge burden that we carry on our shoulders, and that crushes us. We are crushed by fear. Ironically, that’s when we make our armor even more resistible and opaque. Sometimes, they even make disappear what (or who) we really are.
There is a universal law that could be expressed in these terms: the more complex a system is, the more vulnerable it is. They say being vulnerable will make you stronger. It seems a total contradiction, but it is not. All, without exception, we have shortcomings, weaknesses, fears and/or insecurities, and whoever denies wants to believe an image of himself that is not very right, totally unreal. In the society in which we live, a “perfect showcase image” prevails, which has led us to a strange alley in which accepting a personal weakness is a sign of defeat, disappointment, or cause for mockery by the rest. Likewise, being different from the pre-established canon of what is called “normal” or commonly accepted also means an internal fight. It is impossible to change society suddenly, but we can do it within ourselves, modify those parameters and fly over that fictional landscape in which we always move with that armor that we have built. Only this way can we learn, join ties and become stronger thanks to who would say it, to our weak points or, rather, to the complex acceptance of them, of what makes us vulnerable. Only then can we find freedom and become, at least for us, the best version of oneself.
It’s about finding a balance. There is no one who has not been afraid of not rising to the challenge of a certain moment in his life or being rejected, we are very ashamed to recognize it because of the fear of being attacked. Sometimes, it is hard for us to accept it ourselves. Every so often, the perfect showcase image is also lived inwards.
The opposite of vulnerability is not strength, but hardness; including soul and emotions. If we harden not to feel pain, we also do it so as not to feel love and the kind part of life. Although society sells us the image of unbeatable, our way to happiness is to accept and embrace ourselves in the totality of who we are: Strong and vulnerable at the same time.
“Brighten”, is a combination between modern architecture and the sweet display of showing a fetish in a world apparently modernizing in the face of prejudice. After darkness and transition, light and color arrive. This project is an evolution in color photography that comes out of my series “Exposure”.
The Phoblographer: What made you want to get into your genre? What motivates you to shoot?
Jaqueline Vanek: Since I started with photography, I have gone through an endless number of different styles until I found myself in the one that made me feel most comfortable and where I feel most represented. I have worked in the world of fashion, making beauty portraits and editorials with models, I have gone through landscape and architecture photography, documentary photography, photography related to the world of music… until finally reaching the conclusion that what I am most passionate about is creating through my feelings with the use of the self-portrait.
Like many people, I too, at a specific moment in my life, have visited a psychologist for a while for personal problems. When I went to the consultations, the psychologist always asked me to write down my feelings until the next appointment, but writing was not my forte. From there the idea of using photography came up and I started with the method of using image creation to express myself. This is how I used the self-portrait, subcategory of the artistic genre of portraiture, more and more.
What continues to motivate me to continue creating through photography is having found my form of expression in this artistic method. It is an escape route, a method of relief, the best way to communicate something and to tell thoughts and points of view on a subject that catches my attention or that affects me directly.
All images by Jaqueline Vanek and used with permission. Be sure to check out her website and her Instagram. Want to be featured? Take a look at our submission process.
