Weekend Humor isn’t meant to be taken seriously. So don’t, ya rube.
Citing the three-week phenomenon with apps, Sony has decided to abandon the smartphone arena altogether. The three-week phenomenon happens when you download a trending app, use it to a nauseating degree, and ultimately abandon it after three weeks. Angry Birds and Candy Crush are frequent offenders. The XPeria line will be discontinued, and the RX1P will take its place.
“There are so many bloody apps,” said CEO Masaru Endo, “that we forget it’s supposed to make and receive a call.” He conceded that the Google Play Store is less crowded than Apple’s App Store, but it’s “all just junk, really”. Forget 5-inch touch screens, myriad menus, and 40 trillion apps. The RX1P doesn’t have any of that.
Essentially, Sony took the RX1R, cut out the R and stuck a P in it. There’s a “Ph” button on the back that when pressed will bring up a number pad on the LCD, which is now a touch screen. Dial your friend, hit the call button, and wait for your friend to pick up. Call quality is surprisingly clear, clearer than anything we here at The Phoblographer have ever tested.
There’s no sharing functionality, much to the chagrin of Instagram-crazed tweens. Sony emphasizes living in the moment which is the opposite of what most tend to do. They quoted Louis CK in a press release, “Just live your life. Don’t keep telling people what you’re doing. Also, it lights up your big, dumb face.”
The idea to move away from the smartphone came one night when Mr. Endo was staying in New York City on business. He turned in early one night at the Marriott, and turned on the television. Louis CK’s “Live at the Beacon” was on, and he realized how muddled the world is. It was then that he knew he must take Sony in a different direction altogether.
The RX1P will have a less-glitzy exterior as it will have a plastic body to cut down on cost, and the space available is whatever you want it to be. “Just buy an SD card. How many cat photos do you take?” Mr. Endo asked. “It’s a camera that can make calls. What more do you really want?”
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