Weekend Humor isn’t meant to be taken seriously. Every time you take one of these posts seriously, a hipster loses his bacon. Stop taking bacon away from hipsters. It isn’t cool, man.
On the heels of news about Leica’s “C Typ 112”, the German camera manufacturer officially announced that it will cease production of new cameras and move exclusively into rebranding. It’s a move that’s largely been anticipated as a sizable amount of Leica’s recent catalogue are Panasonic cameras stripped of their casing and done up like a Leica babe. We got our hands on some on internal memos about the move.
Johann Pilsner, Leica’s CEO, called an emergency board meeting to discuss the company’s future. Among the folks present were COO Hans von Hefeweisen and Bruno, Leica’s muscle. Citing lukewarm reaction to the C Typ 112 leak and DxO Mark’s persistent disapproval, Pilsner threw his arms up in the air and sank back in his chair. “How many more Ms are we really going to make?” he asked, according to the meeting’s minutes.
An intern walked by outside the conference room as Pilsner asked the question, and offered, “Make better cameras. Market research, you know. Give the customers what they want.” That lit a fire in Pilsner’s soul, and he yelled, “Bruno, get him the f*** out of here.” Before the intern could make it out of the doorway, Bruno grabbed him by the collar and punched him square in the jaw. Blood flew, some of which landed in drops on the table. The CFO reportedly took out a quell and drew the Leica logo in the blood drops.
Hefeweisen said, “Panasonic makes good cameras.” Those present nodded their heads. Some muttered, “Jawohl.” He then said, “The rebranding thing seems to work.” Cue muted agreement. “Why not just keep doing that? Hell, we could shack up with those Japanese guys and rebrand their sh*t.” Seemingly lost in thought, Pilsner rubbed his temples as Hefeweisen spoke. The light bulb that had been flickering over Pilsner’s head sprung to life, and with one finger in the air, he shot up from his seat, knocking it back. “I got it!” he decreed. “We’ll move exclusively into the rebranding business!” Hefeweisen sighed heavily, but Pilsner shushed him.
Canon and Nikon are the first two companies that will have their products rebranded by Leica. Sony and Olympus are rumored to follow by the end of the year. In the interim, Leica is offering logo stickers on its website, so that you can rebrand everything you own.
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