Weekend Humor isn’t meant to be taken seriously. So don’t, ya rube.
You all thought you were safe with your feed, your likes, your followers, and your cats. Unfortunately for everyone and their #nofilter shenanigans, Darth Zuckerberg has made it clear that Instagram will now have those ads that hit a bit too close to home. For the six of you who don’t use Instagram, don’t worry about this, but for the rest of you, worry about this. The adocalypse is here, and readers sent us notes about weird happenings on their feed.
It was a normal day like most normal days for Norman Daye, who is an avid Instagrammer and goes by the handle eggs4lyfe. He had just finished preparing breakfast when he updated his feed with a shot of his eggs with the caption, “Guess what guys?! #eggs again!” His phone buzzed while he ate, and he smiled at the influx of likes from maxwelleggington, aharddaysegg, leggomyegg, and the rest. When Norman went to check his feed after finishing breakfast, he found an ad for cholesterol medication which prompted him to set his phone down for a short while before thinking about how many eggs he’d use for lunch. Upon going to the doctor, he learned that his cholesterol was way above normal, and he was prescribed the exact medication he saw in the ad on his feed. Eggs4lyfe is now a defunct account.
Beatrice Adams always wanted to be a dancer, and she dedicated her feed to photos of her practicing. Known as tapitlikeitshot, Beatrice would bombard her four followers with a nearly endless stream of photos of herself in various leotards. The problem for Beatrice was that she had no coördination, and Instagram somehow knew that. Tears dotted her phone as ad after ad for secretarial work at the local paper mill appeared on her feed. The ads had the tragic caption, “Realize what you can do.”
For the most part, most of the messages we received could be answered had they taken a moment to consider what it was they were actually doing. What you put out comes back, and if you really like a thing, Instagram will spam the sh*t out of your feed with things eerily similar to your interests. Happy filtering!
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