Weekend Humor: Kodak’s Bankruptcy Woes Pile On, Owes Tyrion Lannister Cash

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Weekend Humor isn’t meant to be taken seriously. So don’t. We’re serious. 

In an effort to help assuage Kodak’s financial woes, a bunch of super rich companies decided to give some of their pocket change to the ailing film giant which it will then have to pay back. Probably. The problem is that the paper trail that led to Kodak’s lucky day goes all the way to Tyrion Lannister who will see that money some time in the future. Here’s the winding tale of how Kodak owes Tyrion some cash.

It was a hot summer on the set of Game of Thrones when Arya’s cousin visited the cast and crew in Belfast. She was most excited to meet Tyrion Lannister as he was her favorite character. He was sitting just behind the camera in between scenes when she approached him. He let out a word in his American accent, but caught himself just in time, lest he should destroy the illusion.

The conversation went smoothly, and she realized by the end of it that she didn’t have enough money to get home. She asked him if he could spare some change, to which he said,”And why should I give you the money. You are nothing but a child.” “Because I need to get home before my curfew, m’lord.” “A Lannister always pays his debts. Do you pay yours?” “Yes, m’lord. I’ll get the money back to you as soon as I have it.” “Fine. Here you go. Run along now.”

Along the way home, the girl found a fiver which she held onto until her father asked her for it because he needed to get to the US to see a friend. The father was able to secure a flight to Las Vegas where he met with an old college buddy who was in a bind. The college buddy had a new project, and he needed a loan to turn a profit at the blackjack table to fund it.

The father, however hesitant, lent his college buddy some cash who knew how to count cards. The college buddy won a massive amount of money before the casino big wigs were able to figure out that he was one of those MIT kids who invented the bloody technique. The revenue he earned from his craftiness went to his father, a big bank bigwig, who was in a bind because he gave the green light to a bunch of terrible mortgage lending decisions.

Then something else happened, and the bigwig’s big bank turned a massive profit which he then decided to splurge on hookers, blackjack, and Kodak. How Kodak plans to pay back that money is anybody’s guess, but Tyrion’s got some debts of his own. And if he doesn’t, he’ll find himself in a worse position than he did after he got knocked out in battle.

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