How Photography Was My Shield in Battling Loss and Grief

Like many of you, I’ve used photography as a form of therapy.

“Hey, Auntie Joan, isn’t this the day we cremated Grandpa?” That’s how my day started–by looking at memories on Facebook and remembering a time when I first became content with shooting landscapes. This was an incredibly difficult time. I was in my early 20s and already facing an incredibly rough job at the B&H Photo Social Media Dept. But I remember when my sister called me to tell me about how a stroke had destroyed over 40% of my grandfather’s brain. So my sister, mother and I got into our car, left our home in Queens for a few nights and went up to Toronto. You see, this was a complicated death. It’s one that we had been expecting for a long time. But a few things made this one especially difficult for me, and my Canon 5D Mk II was my only shield. As I type that, I remember the day that I threw it down the trash chute in my old Brooklyn apartment. That camera was my shield. And like many of you, photography has been a welcome distraction for holding back tears and completely losing it.

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