Last Updated on 11/19/2025 by Chris Gampat
Nikon has enjoyed a legendary run in the camera world. And for photographers of a certain age, the question, “Canon or Nikon?” was less about your camera and more about your allegiances and your moral compass. In many ways, Nikon has earned its reputation for innovation and longevity, as acknowledged by its fans. But this story isn’t about any of that. This one is for all the haters out there.
We don’t hide our logos like those trust-fund kids and their Red Dots; we put our heart on our sleeves, and if you don’t understand why, we’re happy to educate you on why you’re not a real photographer unless you’re shooting Nikon.
Are They a Nikon Fanboy? Oh, They’ll Let You Know
Have you ever been walking through your city and encountered a photographer snapping away, or at a wedding or other event with a photographer present, and thought to yourself, “I wonder what camera they use?” If you have, you did NOT meet a Nikon Fanboy. You see, dear reader, if you encounter a Nikon photographer out in their element, you will know because we would’ve told you. I’ve been shooting with a Nikon camera since I was given a D850, straight out of a pawn shop, and I haven’t stopped talking about being a Nikon fanboy since. While some fanboys out there are discussing bokeh, or subject-tracking AF, we’re on eBay hunting down classic Nikon DSLR camera straps. If you can’t see that logo from space, are you even a Nikon Fanboy?
I’ve been letting people know I’m a Nikon shooter since I started walking around with that D850 and a cheap plastic lens. Make no mistake, our brand is strong, and that’s why we let it be known by grotesquely large, bold-lettered logos against yellow backgrounds. We don’t hide our logos like those trust-fund kids and their Red Dots; we put our heart on our sleeves, and if you don’t understand why, we’re happy to educate you on why you’re not a real photographer unless you’re shooting Nikon.
Speaking of which, Nikon shooters aren’t the type to be content with “street photography.” What pussies the lot of you! No, an “urban jungle” just won’t cut it – we’re going on an actual safari. You might have seen us at kids’ birthday parties with Z 70-200 f2.8 S, but that’s only because we’re jumping on a plane to Indonesia (or wherever lions live) right after. We invented the “Professional Trinity,” so let’s not pretend like your brand had it first. You follow; we lead.
If you can’t see that logo from space, are you even a Nikon Fanboy?
Focus on the Mood and not Your Subject
To all the Sony trolls, I’ve about had it with all the autofocus slander. Yes, we’ve all heard about how great Eye AF is on your A7W (the W stands for “whatever”). In fact, your portfolio is filled with photos of conventionally attractive women, with one eye in focus. As for us, we’re more of the Cartier-Bresson school of thought: it doesn’t matter if the image is in focus if it captures the moment (I’m pretty sure he said that). Just the other day, I posted an out-of-focus image of a polar bear from a trip to the zoo last summer. All those Sony Fanboys kept harping about animal subject detection, this and that, but while I managed to get the enclosure in sharp focus, it was clear that the mood of the polar bear was lit! Even if he was extra fuzzy thanks to missed focus.
I get the normies’ desire to have everything in focus all the time, but those poor slobs don’t know anything about art. So, what if I want an elephant in focus, and instead, I get super-high detailed shots of grass? They don’t know the first thing about art. They don’t understand the majestic beauty of the drive-through safari the way only a true Nikon photographer can. Lastly, who cares if the image is in focus? Can you print wall-sized images with the fidelity that my Z8 delivers? I don’t think so.
As for us, we’re more of the Cartier-Bresson school of thought: it doesn’t matter if the image is in focus if it captures the moment (I’m pretty sure he said that).
Nikon Fanboys are Puzzle-Solving Geniuses
Great photographers are natural puzzle solvers. When we’re out on the field, it’s our job to juggle multiple challenges all at once and in the service of making a life-changing photograph. Having been a Nikon devotee for so long, no one is prepared to solve puzzles like me – have you ever seen a Nikon camera menu? Sure, things have been getting easier as of late, but the truth is I wish they would’ve kept things interesting. It was a great way of keeping posers- like this loser – out of our precious cul.. camera system.
This is a great time to remind you all that our function buttons have function buttons. If there’s some ambiguous camera function, chances are that I’ve assigned it to a button. One, two, sometimes three taps and I’m there. All without having to take my eye away from the viewfinder. There are approximately 20 buttons, all of which I’ve customized multiple times because I can’t remember what I’ve assigned to each one. This isn’t a system for the smooth-brained Canon and Sony shooter. This is a serious system for PROfessionals.
Sloppy Seconds, or Dirty Thirds? It Doesn’t Matter
All these young photographers have no respect. Talking to us Nikon shooters like we’re sloppy seconds or dirty thirds in the camera wars. We have just as much pedigree as Canon. We’ve been running neck and neck long before Sony stripped Minolta for parts (may the camera gods rest their souls), and truthfully, we’re better than Canon. They have L rings, and we have an obnoxious yellow and black logo. They have white lenses, and we can afford to go on that photography workshop in the Falkland Islands. And while Sony might have all those young, attractive influencers, we have a bright yellow and black logo that can be seen from space. No, I’m not bitter – I’m better.