Weekend Humor: Facebook Acquires Snapchat, Millions of Lewd Photos Leaked

Image courtesy of command+shift+4 on my MacBook Pro

Image courtesy of command+shift+4 on my MacBook Pro

Weekend Humor isn’t meant to be taken seriously. So don’t, ya rube.

Several days after acquiring Whatsapp, Facebook has announced that it has reached a deal with Snapchat for $20 billion. The move came after Snapchat realized how much it could stand to make if it were acquired by the blue titan of social media. Snapchat’s CEO Michael Williams restarted talks with Zuckerberg and the two solidified the terms of the acquisition. Unfortunately, a security leak led to millions of lewd photos going public.

An error in Facebook’s code linked Snapchat accounts to users’ corresponding Facebook accounts. Any messages sent via Snapchat were misunderstood as Facebook status updates and went live the moment they were sent. Much to everyone’s dismay, Snapchat’s auto-delete algorithm doesn’t apply to Facebook, and hundreds of millions of Facebook users were given a four to seven inch window into the lives of their friends.

“Everybody knows what I’m packing now,” said Dan Jones, a 20-year-old avid Snapchatter and occasional Facebook user. “I didn’t know Dashing Dan was on Facebook until my grandmother called me in a fit of rage.”

Snapchat’s support desk was inundated with millions of irate emails demanding an explanation. The default response read:

Dear user,

We apologize for our flaccid response to this accident. We are working hard to erect a stronger firewall.

Thank you for your continued support.

-The Snapchat Team

That did little to assuage the anger that reverberated throughout Facebook. All of those who had premature statuses experienced a wave of folks deleting them as friends, sending Facebook’s data metrics into a tizzy. Ultimately, Facebook’s stock market value experienced shrinkage as millions deleted their accounts.

This unfortunate series of events, however, did not stop Facebook from opening talks with another online chat service. If all goes well, Facebook will acquire Chatroulette in the near future.

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