Weekend Humor isn’t meant to be taken seriously. So don’t, ya rube.
Instagram is plagued by a constant stream of sunset shots. An article in Slate notes that while they’re an easy source of beauty, they’re often hard to get right, but despite their inherent difficulty, there will always be someone raising an iPhone to that big yellow dot. Unfortunately, that big yellow dot has had enough of all the portraits. The Sun has issued a letter to the people of earth regarding their Instagram inclinations.
Dear person(s) with phones,
Stop. Please, for the love all that is good and bright, stop with all the bloody photos. You think I can’t see you all with your phones held out and your eyes squinted. I’ve been burning for you all billions of years, and now that every phone has a camera, I’m suddenly the most sought after portrait. I’m tired.
Most of those portraits take place when I’m “setting”. You do know I’m not setting right? You’re moving away from me which I have to thank the Earth for. She’s telling you it’s time to go, so please go and put your phones away. I give you light and heat and vitamin D, so please give me peace.
I could turn off at any minute! And you wouldn’t know for eight minutes! I don’t want to do that because I know what life would be like, but don’t tempt me. I don’t look good in photos, and all that flare is super embarrassing. For my benefit and yours, fill Instagram with something else.
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