Weekend Humor: Canon Expected to Unveil Neural Imaging Device at Press Event

Canon EOS-1DX Sensor

Weekend Humor isn’t meant to be taken seriously. So don’t, ya rube.

The photo world was abuzz with speculation after Canon sent out a slew of invites for a press event on August 21st. Will there be a 7D Mark II? What about some new EOS M mirrorless cameras? Hey, how’s about that 75MP Canon 1 series camera? All of these are fine guesses, but they are just that: guesses. According to sources inside Canon, we have the semi-official word on what will be revealed on August 21, and it will be the perfect marriage of a man and his camera.

The notion of a camera is evolving as mobile technology grows exponentially. For the 20th century and early 21st century, the conventional camera had a viewfinder, a pentaprism, a reflecting mirror, and a lens, either interchangeable or fixed. There were exceptions and alterations to that formula, but that was mostly the case. Digital photography changed most of that with the advent of live view through the LCD, and there have been subdivisions spurred mostly by mirrorless cameras and mobile phones. The distance between the camera and the person is shrinking rapidly, and with Canon’s upcoming announcement, it’s practically nonexistent.

The working title for the project is “Canon Eye”. Billed as “nature’s camera”, Canon Eye isn’t something that you hold, nor is it something that you wear in the style of Google Glass. Rather, it is something that becomes a part of you. Essentially, four chips are implanted: one at the back of each retina, one at the optic chiasm, and one in the visual cortex. The retina chips analyze what’s displayed on the retina and send it to the chip at the optic chiasm which then relays it to the chip in the visual cortex which can then send it wirelessly to Canon Cloud, where images taken with Canon Eye are stored.

Canon has been hard at work developing a wireless network that can work safely inside a person’s head without damaging any of the surrounding cells. Granted, potential customers will need medical clearance before they can purchase Canon Eye, but once they’re past the gate, setup is fairly easy. Canon will be opening a series of stores in New York, Boston, Los Angeles, and San Francisco that will have clinics with trained medical professionals to surgically install Canon Eye. Once it’s in, you take a few minutes at a computer to set up voice recognition so that you can turn Canon Eye on and off and take photos.

When it’s on, the two retina chips project a virtual display that overlays a grid to help you compose your image. Currently, there’s only an Auto mode available, as Canon is still working out how to incorporate other modes. With your image ready to go, you say a phrase of your choosing, and the chip at the optic chiasm will electrochemically stimulate your eyelids to blink twice in rapid succession in order to capture the proper exposure. Images then get sent to your Canon Cloud account which you can immediately access on your smartphone or tablet, or your computer at home later.

The future of photography looks exciting with Canon’s latest endeavor, and we’ll keep you updated as more information becomes available.

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