Weekend Humor isn’t meant to be taken seriously. So don’t, ya rube.
Instagram’s strict policy on nudity and associated images makes it a tough sell with teenage boys. When searches for “boobs” and “butts” yields nothing that will satisfy the pubescent eye, those boys find their fix in an episode of Game of Thrones. Late last week, however, a search for “boobies” led one boy to find Instagram’s newest user: iheartboobies.
Thirteen-year-old Timmy Matheson slammed his keyboard in disgust when he found only birds on iheartboobies’ Instagram page. According to a neighbor, Timmy kept screaming “WHERE ARE THE BOOBIES?!” long into the night. The vitriol tapered off when he realized he could turn off Safe Search on Google Images. That did not, however, stop Timmy from trying to sabotage ihearboobies’ Instagram page.
Timmy took to Twitter to try to take down iheartboobies’ and his avian photos. The earliest tweet read, “ihearboobies is a LIAR!!1!!! there r NO BOOBIES!! @instagram DO SOMETHING about this” Out of his 23 followers, Timmy received one retweet. That was just the beginning, however, as millions of teenage boys converged on iheartboobies as his account appeared in searches.
Instagram was buried in a sea of pubescent hate for allowing an account like iheartboobies to exist without delivering on its name. According to a senior Instagram executive, a board meeting was called to determine whether or not they should approach the user and ask him to change his names to something less sexually charged.
One executive sent iheartboobies an off-the-record email that read, in part, “Man, you’ve got to give us something here. These boys are killing us! You don’t have to change the name, just give these kids something.”
The unrest tapered off when iheartboobies added a link to his bio. “For other boobies, click here.” That would take any hormonal kid to an image of a woman with large boobies holding some boobies.
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