Weekend Humor: Nikon Taps Gilbert Gottfried for Spokespersonship

Courtesy of Wikipedia

Courtesy of Wikipedia

Weekend Humor is not meant to be taken seriously. So don’t.

With the recent announcement of Ashton Kutcher’s departure, Nikon lost its key demographic of 14 to 18 year old girls and fans of the movie “The Butterfly Effect”. Both the photography and entertainment worlds were abuzz with speculation about who would take up the mantle that Kutcher left behind. Joseph Gordon Levitt, Brad Pitt, Ryan Gosling, Bradley Cooper, Tom Hiddleston, and Alexander Skarsgard all said, “Hahahaha, no.” With all of the heartthrobs already earning paychecks and the rest of Hollywood’s stable of actors shrugging at the offer, Nikon only had one person to whom they could turn. Gilbert Gottfried.

The announcement of the Nikon-Gottfried partnership dropped earlier this week, and the world couldn’t be more confused. Mr. Gottfried, whose outlandish remarks have often landed him in the soup, is an awkwardly riveting choice. Of the many perks that come with being a Nikon spokesperson, perhaps the most unfortunate, or fortunate depending on your taste, is that Mr. Gottfried’s face will now adorn various spots in B&H Photo.

Nikon has experienced some hiccups when recording ad spots with Mr. Gottfried. He has ignored all attempts by Nikon’s marketing team to get him to follow the script. What began as a humdrum endorsement with, Mr. Gottfried at the helm, derailed into a rather blue routine about the other possibilities that Nikon’s superzooms afford.

Here’s a brief excerpt from a recent attempt at a commercial.

Gottfried: “Here is Nikon’s latest superzoom. It is a wonderful camera that is so easy to use. All you need to to is push this dial one way and you can zoom all the way in to that broad’s nipples in the apartment across the street. And when you zoom in to that broad’s nipples, you will say, ‘Oh. My. God. What gorgeous nipples this broad has! I would like to–”

Nikon has yet to launch a tame commercial featuring Mr. Gottfried, and it may be some time before than can wrangle him in. This partnership has opened a new market that wasn’t initially a part of Nikon’s plan. Men who live in their parents’ basement are fans of Mr. Gottfried’s work, and a survey of various cable providers has shown that these men have filled their DVRs with Mr. Gottfried’s appearances on various late night programs and Comedy Central roasts.

With this new target demographic, Nikon has experienced some negative press. More and more frequently, police investigations into accusations of sexual misconduct have inevitably involved men and their Nikon superzooms.

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