Weekend Humor isn’t meant to be taken seriously. So don’t. We’re serious.
For years, B&H would not allow its employees to join thousands of other institutions on Take Your Child to Work Day. The higher-ups at the photo megalopolis felt that it would distract the floor employees, and more importantly, they’d have to buy more bags of that candy that everyone sees but no one eats. In an effort to promote the image of a family-friendly environment, the head honchos gave Take Your Child to Work Day the green light, but they had it take place the Thursday before Passover, five weeks ahead of schedule. With Easter right around the corner, Catholic camera consumption slumped, so having kids on the floor would have been less detrimental. The grand masters of B&H did not, however, think that the bloody conveyor system would have been an issue.
It was a cold Thursday when the day’s employees with their kids at leash’s length trudged over to the nondescript side entrance. The children were bubbling with excitement. They would finally get to see what made mama and papa so miserable. After punching in, the green-vested camera purveyors walked towards the big double doors that led towards the store floor. The kids ran at breakneck speed ahead of their parents, but they soon came flying back when they reached the end of their leash.
Most of the kids were tethered near the entrances to the conveyor system. One employee spoke to us on the condition of anonymity, “I didn’t think it would be a problem. I always tell my son, ‘Never go into a hole you don’t know.'” The hole, however, proved too tempting for the child who successfully removed his leash. With his newfound freedom, the little guy jumped in a green box two GoPro cameras and a Portraiture for Dummies book.
The kid rode the conveyor system all the way to the end where he was picked up by a bearded man he didn’t know. Upon picking up the child, the man said, “Oy, we’re selling kids now? Alright.” He then put the child in a large plastic bag, and hung it on the wall for pickup. The GoPro customer handed over his pickup slip, and the lanky gentleman fetched the bag with the cameras, book, and child.
“Sir, I didn’t buy this child,” the customer was quoted as saying. “Listen,” the worker said, “I give you the bag. I don’t know what’s in the bag. You were on floor. You say, ‘I want this.’ Man puts it in green box. It comes here. Goes into bag. I give you the bag. End of story. Don’t ask questions. I have no answers. You leave now please, NEXT!”
Ten other children found new parents throughout the day.
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