Op ED: How Film Photography Sometimes Breaks My Heart

by Chris Gampat on 01/14/2013

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

See that roll of film up above? Notice how there is only one properly exposed image? When I get the roll back, I can’t tell you just how furious I was. This roll was supposed to be something special for all of you. It was shot on a Canon EOS Film body borrowed from a friend with the brand new Sigma 35mm f1.4 that we haven’t finished the review on. We strive to give everyone something different than other publications on the internet, and this roll was supposed to be the final touch on my now even further delayed review. The problem: the camera has a faulty shutter after not being used for nearly 20 years. It’s infuriating and devastating: all that work, the money investment spent into it; and knowing that I’ll need to get back out there and do it all again after borrowing a new EOS film body with no defects. This is what happens when you shoot film, and it’s not the first time it’s happened for me; but it sure is rare.

But not for a second would I ever stop. In digital photography; I can get the shot nearly every time due to my background. I’m a former paparazzi, then a wedding photographer, then an event photographer, and now a headshot and studio photographer. Needless to say, I’ve learned how to get the shot I need. But it’s so easy in digital. When I shoot film, I take a chance. And that’s something no one does these days; take a chance. You end up rewarded with emotions. There’s nothing as thrilling as looking at a perfect roll of exposures and there’s nothing as horrifying or heartbreaking as looking at a roll that went bad. I haven’t felt this heartbroken since breaking up with my ex-girlfriend two years ago. Needless to say, I’ll keep doing it; because the rewards are just so much more worth it. In fact, all of my personal work is done on film these days.

Either way, I thought that this would be a great conversation starter here because it’s just such a human emotion that we all should feel at least once as photographers. Tell us about the roll that went awry for you in the comments below.

  • Peter Arbib

    I hear ya….
    I had bought a Konica C35, and although there isn’t much in way of light seals, (the back is a tongue and grove design to the body) the back was a tiny bit out-of-plumb, and caused the whole roll to have light leak streaks…. I did fix it with a pair of pliers, and all is well now. But it is annoying! My Nikon FE needed a small strip of felt on the back door at the hinges. looking forward to the review notice.

  • http://www.bessablog.com/ rangefinder gordon

    I can’t tell you how many times I’ve ruined a roll.

  • Bo Boswell

    A little bit different, but the first story that came to mind…

    My first photography class was B&W film photography. I was shooting with a Canon AE-1. I attended a wedding of a friend who lives out of town and took some photos, not as the wedding photographer (they’d hired a pro for that) but just as a friend and hobbyist. My friend requested the film straight out of the camera so they could get it developed while they were on their honeymoon. I obliged, a bit nervous about how the shots would turn out, or if they’d turn out at all.

    I asked him about the photos some time later and he told me that he and his wife loved them and that I’d taken some of their favorite shots from the wedding. To this day I still haven’t seen any of the images. I actually am kinda fine with that.

  • http://TravisLawtonPhotography.com/ Travis Lawton

    The time the roll fell off the spool or teeth or something after just one frame. The result, roughly 36 shots on one single frame. Talk about multiple exposures. See it here if you’d like: http://www.flickr.com/photos/travislawton/6855464278/in/photostream

  • Matthew Everett

    In a moment of terror, I had a roll of film tear when it caught on something while I was rewinding it just a month or two ago. To make matters worse, I hadn’t rewound more than about 5 frames when it happened. I used a changing bag to extract the rest from the camera (which is fixed), but I wasn’t sure what I planned to do after that. Right now that film is hopefully sitting in the dark in a sealed film canister, until I decide whether to right it off, get the stuff to develop C41, or find someone to do it for me. I’m starting to think I ought to play with developing it in Caffenol; you know, since it’s probably already ruined.

    • ChrisGampat

      That happened to me a while back too, it was horrifying.

      *Chris Gampat*

  • cgw

    Only hang out with owners of working cameras, Chris.

  • http://twitter.com/ColinCorneau Colin Corneau

    The day when we had mild weather after a brutal cold snap. The temperature difference created a thick, thick mist which left hoarfrost-gilded trees and an entire world gone monochrome white…it was stunningly beautiful and, obviously, very rare. Something you can’t just create or even hope for very often.

    I found the perfect place for a perfect shot, unique and depending on a world draped in a white mist…the film magazine on my Hasselblad jammed or something, and every shot was made on one frame — gone. I haven’t seen that happen since, but you’d better believe I’ve got all my gear ready to go, on a moment’s notice should it happen again this year! (and with a different magazine, too)

  • James Radcliff

    That’s the main reason you like shooting film? If you like the risk of total failure, why not stick with digital but do other things create that risk? After a shoot, take your memory card out and bury it somewhere in your yard. Then in a month go and look for it. Imagine the tension… will i find it again? Will it still work? Ooooh.

    (Sorry, it just seems stupid to shoot film just because you like the risk of stuff it up)

    • http://www.facebook.com/philhudson2009 Phil Hudson

      If those are your reasons, then it seems you’re not shooting to make art or photographs, you’re simply shooting for the emotional experience of actually finding something on your film, rather like Christmas morning when you’re a child.

    • Layla

      It’s not about the risk as much as it is the reward. Film looks better, period. Everyone shoots digital and film/darkroom developing is a dying art. Digital photography is not truly “photography”, in my opinion. It’s making an image. The process from beginning to end is not even close to being the same. I shoot both, by the way. Digital is predictable and instantly gratifying. Film is mysterious and surprising.

  • http://twitter.com/shawnhoke The Incredible Hoke

    Lots of “Oh no” moments loading film onto the developing reel, but luckily only ruined a couple of shots. Now you know not o trust a new-to-you camera without shooting a test roll. :)

  • Kram Namloc

    I was a pro for 24 years before I went digital. Never blew a roll. Couldn’t afford to, my career depended upon it.

  • Kram Namloc

    That said, waiting to wait for a lab to run film was stressful enough. I sleep better these days.

  • parambyte

    Hello Chris. Did you ever sit on a chair for 20 years, not excercised, and then went for a game of field hockey? Perhaps no. I am a professional cinematographer, having shot millions of feet of film and petabytes of Digital. Film has never failed me, because I don’t like to take my professional tools for granted. However, despite precautions, digital has failed me more than once.

    I have shot in the Himalayas with choppers, come back with two backups, both drives failed. I have shot a celeb, and the most critical closeup of the eye was the one shot that got ‘corrupted’. I have a 8 year old Olympus E20P which is worth no more than paperweight. A 10 times cheaper, and 11 years old Nikon FM10 still gives excellent results. A much older Nikon F3 and Canon AE1 give excellent results even today. I recently scanned 15 year old negatives. An 8 year old hard drive with lots of data refuses to mount (and don’t suggest periodic HDD upgradations. You don’t have to do that with negs).

    Photography, like most professions, takes a certain pro approach. I cant imagine F1 drivers racing in untested cars. Similarly I cant imagine someone shooting with untested cameras. Doctors don’t operate without tests.

    So we shouldn’t blame technology that we aren’t conversant with. If in a film camera, the frame doesn’t move, one can tell when pulling that frame. One just needs to know and understand one’s equipment.

    I can keep my film cameras just about anywhere. For my D800, I am worried it shouldnt be close to too much heat, dust, moisture, magnetic fields, vibrations etc. Film and digital are just tools. Each requiring its own discipline.

  • Rolf Schmolling

    well, I am shooting with a Nikon F2 Photomic and the only „ruined rolls“ I had were from operator error, like, forgetting to rewind the film and then accidently , no make that stupidly (!) opening the backdoor and exposing the film. Still even then most images were ok. Of course they had to make it through developing alright… I can only say I embrace the possibilities old and now affordable professional-level-quality bodies give me, both 35mm and medium format. No film is not going away, but for the mass market and pro shooters who have to meet the markets demand for just-in-time-yesterday speed.
    There is probably no way to notice your shutter-problem prior to shooting…
    nevertheless: #believeinfilm

  • http://twitter.com/danchip Dan Chippendale

    Have sold my M6 for that very reason. Screwed a couple of rolls from a family holiday in processing. Wrong dilution as I forgot what I’d mixed a few weeks earlier. I had photos from my M9 so all wasn’t lost. Sticking to digital and will use my GR1S and get a lab to process any film I shoot from now on. Just clearly don’t have the time needed to successfully shoot and process film. Two young children put pay to that. Plus the mrs wasn’t keen on all the chemicals I had in the kitchen sink.

  • http://www.thephoblographer.com/ Felix Esser

    My first roll of film I ever shot also was the first roll that I ruined. I was a kid and had a toy camera running 110 film, and didn’t know how to properly advance it. All of the frames had two half pictures in it. Man, was I furious! Nothing happened for a long time then (I would shoot film until I got my first digital in 2005), until my Contax T’s shutter failed early last year. 18 of 36 frames came out blank. And just recently, I ripped the end of a roll of Delta 3200 out of the container. I had to unwind it from the takeup spool manually in total darkness, then wrapped it around the container and sealed it in a used 120 film wrapping. Just sent it to the lab, hoping they can rescue it. Still, I shoot more film these days than digital, as film just speaks to my soul and makes my heart beat faster.

  • Alfons

    What does this have to see with film cameras? Digital cameras do also have shutters. The problem was the camera not being used for 20 years, not film photography! Please be fair…

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=657240091 James Walker

    NEVER Borrow a camera if your going to do something serious. Never. That was your first amateur mistake. It’s ok we all have our days but this was a straight up result of your lack of planning and your not a victim here.

    • Kaouthia

      I wouldn’t say “never borrow a camera if you’re going to do something serious”, (I don’t own a 39MP Hasselblad, for example, so when I need one, I borrow one), but you definitely want to test it out, get to know it, and be comfortable enough with it and how it can fit your workflow that you can reduce or eliminate as many potential issues as possible first.

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=657240091 James Walker

        lol no one should rent one. Some one that lets you borrow an H3D II 39. Especially if this guy is asking for it if it gets damaged or stolen you can’t blame him as much as yourself. No you don’t borrow them. I mean on rare occasions yes. Maybe if some one is a bit better off than you and is a friend is not really a good thing to let you go off into the night with your $30K camera.

        I own my H3D II 39. I “rent” it but no one is gonna borrow it. Screw that.

        • Kaouthia

          He lets me borrow his, he trusts me with it, he knows I know how to use it, he knows I’ll care for his equipment as much as I care for my own, he and I both know I’m not going to steal it, and I’m insured for any gear I use (mine, rented or borrowed).

          I wasn’t telling people to loan out their H3Ds, btw, just making a point. Borrowing is fine as long as both parties understand the risks, and are adequately insured.

  • Martin Fritter

    Well, I have taken many pictures of the inside of my lens cap on my Mamiya 6! However, they did come out perfectly black.

  • Jamie-Andrea Yanak

    Not very professional to take a camera that hasn’t been used in 20-years and expect it to perform on an important job – really, that’s amateurish. Blame the photographer, not the camera. Anyone with a brain would have had it checked and serviced, first. As if a card not reading or the million other things that can go wrong with digital make it any safer. Not to mention the very-increased risks of losing it later.

  • hiperreal

    How long for the Sigma 35mm f1.4 review? or did i miss it ?¿

    • ChrisGampat

      Hit the reviews index. We published it

      - Chris Gampat
      Editor in Chief
      The Phoblographer

  • PhotoTAW

    I took part in the Cardiff Photomarathon a few years ago, simple concept of 12 hours, 12 topics, but you only get 12 frames. Previous years I’d been disappointed with my creative interpretation of the topics so that year I was determined. You hand in your film at the end of the day then you don’t get to see your pictures until the final exhibition. I was excited the day of the exhibition, I took friends along. I looked for my large contact sheet amongst all those hung on the walls and when I found it my heart sank, there were horizontal white lines across each frame, shutter leak. I was heartbroken they hadn’t come out and embarrassed that there they were on the wall for everyone to see. My camera has never done it again since, not once. The Photomarathon has now gone digital and I no longer take part. It may be devasting when something goes wrong with film but when all your efforts are rewarded there’s no feeling like it. I learnt a lot that day and every successful shot is now precious to me.

  • Layla

    I “shot” an entire roll of Kodak 3200 b&w with my old Pentax K1000. I loaded the film, it felt fine, was winding, the counter was counting properly. After spending a month carefully “shooting” this $11 roll of film (including a portrait of a Texas actor in the movie “Bernie”), I go to rewind the film, I turned the rewind lever twice, and then I was done. Film sucked back into the canister. It never threaded so therefore I never shot a thing. I guess the good thing is I can extract the film and shoot it again, after triple checking that it threaded, of course!

  • Joe Zakko

    my first camera was like yours and had a faulty shutter. I got a medium format camera recently and the first roll came out completely unexposed. I had no idea it required batteries.

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